Friday, December 17, 2010

Finally Friday

I had the flu this week. Not fun. I stayed home Tuesday and Wednesday, but I could have stayed home yesterday too. I still don't feel like myself. Mostly because I'm getting a sore throat now. Just love this time of year. I'm already down and I'll be exposed to all kinds of family germs in the next couple of weeks. Gotta love it.

So while I was home, and when I started to feel a little better, I wrapped Christmas presents. I HATE wrapping presents. Because I suck at it. But it's done and I'm excited about that. Well, the kids' gifts are done. I still have to wrap my parents' gifts. And I have to buy something for the babysitter's kids yet. I may be crazy, but I'm going to try and get that done after work today. My boss is having a Christmas party and I don't want to go home before I go because that's a drive all the way out of town and then back. I don't like driving at night anyway. But this will probably be my last chance to get anything for anybody, so I've been sitting here jotting notes down every time I think of something.

For example, I am in charge of filling my mom's stocking. It's pretty easy, really. Office supplies and chocolate. Easy peasy. And I already have a couple things. So I'll browse a little and see what else I can find.

And...on the writing's been quiet. I've got my ideas and my little notebook sitting right here. I've got at least three unfinished stories to work on. I need to focus. I have a hard time focusing. It's been a long time since I actually finished something. I mean full on, completely and totally finished. It really sucks. It's not satisfying at all. It's very frustrating.

Most of the time, I think I'm holding myself back. I could write. I could find the time. If I really and truly wanted to do it, I could. So why don't I?!

Monday, December 13, 2010

Weekend Recap

I had a sick kid over the weekend. This is where you get into the glamorous part of parenting. Cleaning up vomit in the middle of the night. Then you sit there and suffer right along with them. It's all part of it, though. You take the good with the bad. And it was bad. About every half-hour or so. I ended up sleeping on the couch with him and holding the bucket every time. Grandma and Grandpa had to brave the below zero temps and wind yesterday to bring soup, since I didn't have any. But they don't mind doing stuff like that for the kids. My brother and I joke that the grandkids rank at the top. Then it's the dogs. Then him and I are at the very bottom.

Anyway, he's only five, but I hope he remembers these moments. Because as bad as they seem, I think they are the moments when your true colors as a parent shine through. Except for not having the soup, I think I did pretty well.

Friday, December 10, 2010

Finally Friday

I hate it when I get a good idea for something to post about and then by the time I get around to posting, I've forgotten my good idea. I need to be more focused and organized in my posts. Maybe I'll work on that this weekend. Along with the hundred other things I have to do.

So, let's start with...Christmas. Probably not my favorite holiday. It's too stressful. Ever since I had kids, there's too much pressure. Gotta get the good presents. Gotta keep them happy. Gotta give my mother-in-law ideas for presents so she's the favorite grandma. I just can't take it. My son wants drums. And a guitar. And a mircophone. He's going to be a whole band by himself, apparently. But we have a small house with no place for a whole drum set. Plus, he's only five. This is, most likely, a passing fancy. So I found him a drum. One drum. But it comes with a harmonica and maracas, I think. That should satisfy what I think is his desire to make a lot of noise. Great.

The daughter is harder to shop for. You'd think a three year old girl would be easy. Dolls. Barbies. Stuffed animals. Easy. Not really. She won't tell me anything she wants. She has about twenty babies already. Again, small house, so not a lot of room for baby accessories. But I think that's what she is getting. I did get her another doll. And a Barbie car. And puzzles. Both kids like to do puzzles.

My husband is a total scrooge (meaning he's too tight to spend any money on gifts). He hates the whole idea of presents. He's not a shopper anyway. So I buy my own birthday gift if I feel like it. I also buy myself anything and everything I want for Christmas. It's an excuse to go shopping. Not like I go overboard. But it's always an excuse for new pajamas and slippers and warm fuzzy socks. Because I am hard on socks and slippers, I need new ones every year. I did buy nicer slippers this year (hard soles), so maybe they will last a little longer.

But, in the end, it boils down to the fact that we don't really *need* all this stuff. We do it because it's Christmas. It's what we're *supposed* to do. But that's not what Christmas is about. Didn't we learn anything from Charlie Brown?!

Thursday, December 2, 2010


This whole publishing game is a mystery to me. The processes you follow, the steps you take. It's like a puzzle and you have to get the pieces to fit in order to "win." I'm not even sure how I first discovered you need to start with a literary agent. But even the process leading up to that search boggles my mind.

I read a lot of articles and blogs about becoming a better writer, how to write a better novel, so on and so forth. Maybe I read too much. Maybe that's the problem. I need to stop reading about how to do it and just read the books that are already published. Because that's how it gets done.

For the most part, I read all this and I'm left feeling really confused. I know you can't put the pen to the paper and expect fantastic results the first time around. But all the "rules" that are thrown around. I guess the one I struggle with the most is show vs. tell. Because I think I tell. I've seen all this stuff telling you not to do it and not enough on how to fix it.

This is when I get frustrated and discouraged. I think to myself that writing is supposed to be fun. I've always done it because I enjoy it. When it's not fun anymore, I want to quit. But if I want to get published, I can't quit. So...what's a wannabe writer to do?!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Is It Only Wednesday?

If I have to hear my boss say how "livid" she is one more time today, I might scream. Yes, there are computer issues. Yes, we are all frustrated. But we can't do anything about it. So stop complaining.

Now, on with the entry...

I didn't win NaNoWriMo this year. I just can't completely put my life on hold like that for a month. I did get a good start and hopefully this is something I can finish. Sometimes I have a problem with seeing things through until the end. We'll see what happens this time.

And, along those same lines, I've started a weight loss journey. Now, I'm completely and totally content with how I look. BUT I know I'm not healthy and I'm tired of my clothes not fitting anymore. It just so happens that they started a fitness challenge over at Kind Over Matter (I don't know how to link, so you'll just have to google it). I signed up at and downloaded their app on my iPhone. I've been tracking my food and exercise for a week now. I have managed to maintain my weight, which is better than gaining. And I realize I won't lose anything until I start to eat better. I have managed to control my snacking because I feel guilty if I "cheat" and don't record something. Now I just need to watch portions and more healthy foods. Hopefully this is something I will be able to see through to the end.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Celebrity (boyband) worship

I posted this over on LiveJournal. I'm too lazy to come up with anything new.

First, background. A couple weeks ago, I wrote my best friend a letter (because she lives far, far away in South Dakota) and in it I examined how her life is such a constant compared to mine. Not that she doesn't try new things, but that she's consistent about it. She does the gardening, outdoorsy type stuff. While my hobbies are more scatterbrained, like me. A while back, I got into crafts. Then I moved into books. I go at it all gung ho for a while and then it tapers off. I don't quit completely, but I guess I find something else to hold my interest for a while. The one thing I always go back to is writing. It's always been there. Which is awesome. But when I die, somebody is going to be completely overwhelmed with the number of journals and notebooks and scraps of paper I have accumulated.

Last night, I went in search of something in my upstairs. It's a finished attic, I guess. Do you call them vaulted ceilings? The slanty ones? That's what we have and I hate it because it makes digging for things a pain. Anyway, I was in search of my New Kids on the Block memorobilia. This is my latest "hobby," I guess. I follow all the members of NKOTB on Twitter. I got word of the NKOTBSB thing. I did a little research online. I was having a really bad day one day last week and I went ahead and joined the fan club and bought a couple presale tickets for the show in Chicago. Because I felt like it. So now I'm totally back in the boyband phase. Like a twelve year old girl. Because that's about what I was when NKOTB was popular. Fifth grade? Sixth grade? Somewhere in there. Anyway, I'm listening to their greatest hits today. I don't even remember buying it on CD, but I did. I put it on my MP3 player last night and have been listening ever since. I have all the books and pins (I put one on the bag I carry with me everywhere) and Joey dolls. It's sad really. But it's funny that I kept it all. I have a stash of NSYNC stuff somewhere too. But I saw them in concert like four times. I never got to see NKOTB. That's why this is so cool.

It hasn't reached the unhealthy point. Yet. I'm still a full functioning adult, wife, mother, etc. my search for that stuff last night, I came across this little stash of paper. I had a couple letters from a foreign exchange student from Mexico, other letters from friends. Then I hit the jackpot. I found an envelope with pictures I had clipped out of magazines (was it Tiger Beat? Teen Beat? What were those magazines called?!). Christian Slater, Christian Bale, that other kid from Newsies, Edward Furlong, Ethan Embry (back when his last name was Randall), the Three NInjas, so on and so forth. I had a fan club thing from Brian Austin Green and an autographed picture of Jonathan Brandis (who committed suicide! how devastating!). I have a picture of BSB from 1995 (if the copyright date on the back of the ad is the year I found the picture). Crazy.

The best part was my notes. I wrote down song lyrics and titles. Songs I would never have remembered. I wrote little poems. I wrote little journal entries when I was bored on whatever scrap of paper I could find. THEN, then I found the missing link. Cowboys and Angels. A story I started writing a long ass time ago. There was one part of the end of the story that I hated ever since I wrote it. This was going to be the novel I got published. But when I realized I couldn't fix that ending, I gave up and found something better. I may have found the key to writing a better ending. I can't tell you how excited that made me. So today I brought the story with me. There will have to be a lot of editing to get this to work, but I think I can do it. Maybe this is what I need to get this done.

And I have NKOTB to thank.

Monday, November 1, 2010

It's That Time of Year

National Novel Writing Month is upon us once again. Instead of working on my novel, however, I'm writing a blog post that may or may not post (darn filters at work). I need to budget my time a little bit better because I still write the old fashioned way. I actually write the story first, and then type it out. Not all at once. I write a little then type a little. But there's just something about pen and paper that I love.

Good luck to my fellow NaNo participants. Hopefully I'll see you all at the finish line this year. If you want to add me as a buddy, you can find me here...

Thursday, October 21, 2010

In Which I Ramble...again

In the movie ‘A Walk to Remember’, Jamie gives Landon a book that belonged to her mother. In it, she had collected quotes and poems, etc. In the book version, it was a bible where she had marked her favorite passages. I liked the quote book idea. So way back when, I started my own collection. I have movie quotes, song lyrics and famous quotes. I have poems and things clipped from magazines. It’s grown from a small notebook to two small notebooks and an assortment of inserts.

My book also includes a list of helpful hints, things that I’ve learned and would like to pass along. Maybe my children will be interested someday. Who knows? There’s also a list of my favorite things. I’m not sure when I actually started the list because I think it includes my first vehicle in high school (’79 Chevy truck). The only reason I was thinking about it today is because I decided I *must* have French fries for lunch. I have a mad craving for French fries. McDonald’s are my favorite. They are very nearly perfect. Wendy’s are always soggy and sometimes cold. I can only eat the fries from Dairy Queen when I get the chicken strip basket because they must be dipped in the gravy. I don’t eat at Burger King enough to know if theirs are any good. I don’t think we have any other fast food places that serve fries. Restaurant fries are a whole other post.

What was my point? Oh, French fries. Favorite things. I have to make sure I had McDonald’s French fries to my list of favorite things when I get home tonight. Then I want to review it and be reminded of things I may have forgotten I loved. I know The Simpsons are on the list and will never leave. Hard to believe that show has been around for so long. But it’s a little slice of awesome. I am really looking forward to the Twilight spoof on the next Treehouse of Horror.

Anyway, in my attempt to think more positively, I’m going to surround myself with positive things, my favorite things. Today, French fries are my favorite.

Friday, October 15, 2010


So earlier this week, there was a block on any site with "blogspot" in it. Today, so far, it's working. But I'm not going to type a big post, in case it decides to bail on me.

Just a quick note to say that I AM WRITING. Which is epic. Not really, but it feels like it to me. I've been able to sit for more than a few minutes at a time and crank out a page or two. And this is real writing, not typing. They are small pages too, but it's better than nothing. I'm really looking forward to NaNoWriMo and I'm very optimistic about it this year.

Have a great weekend!

Friday, October 8, 2010


It's that time of year again. Everyone is buzzing about National Novel Writing Month. I've been a participant since 2004. I first read about it on Sarah Dessen's blog. I didn't know what it was, so I looked it up (did we Google everything back then?). It sounded like something I wanted to try. I don't know why I hadn't done it before. I don't remember what I even wrote. But I didn't win until 2006, and then again in 2008.

The problem I have (not just with NaNo, in all my writing) is that I write in scenes that I piece together. So I might get to 50,000 words, but I don't have a story that flows very smoothly. I think last year's work of art made it to 30K and I've spent the last few months trying to fill in the gaps and hopefully come up with something worth submitting to an agent.

I've got my idea already for this year's NaNoWriMo. I even did my outline earlier this week. I think it has potential. The ending pulled a little more from other books I've read recently, so I might have to ditch that. But we'll see where the story takes us when the journey begins on November 1. I can't wait!

Friday, October 1, 2010

And I realize that no one wants to read a whiny, complainy blog. So, from now on, I'm going to try and be more positive. I'll post more pictures and fiction. Maybe that's the way to get more followers.

Thoughts? Questions? Suggestions?

In Which I Rant...

I think Twitter is awesome. There is so much information passed back and forth and so many ways to get your point across in so few characters. I think it sucks because it can give you a total complex about following and who follows you. Or maybe it's just me?

Twitter is a neat way to interact with people. I've always been a book lover, but lately I've gone nuts with it. Check out my Goodreads page. I'll have to post pictures of my bookshelves someday too. So, my follows on Twitter are a lot of authors and book bloggers. I think this is a great way for authors to get out there and make their books known. I think it works. I'm definitely impressionable enough to be roped into their schemes.

Here's the thing, though. Even authors who seem to want to do good for themselves can hurt themselves. I don't expect a follow from everyone I follow. I don't expect an acknowledgement every time I reply to a tweet. I appreciate more when I get one, though. I'm more likely to think favorably of a person who does those things. Because I'm a snob like that too.

However, sometimes just the things a person tweets can turn me off. For example, I started reading a book and put it down because I couldn't get into it. I follow the author on Twitter and I have since decided that his/her tweets are really kinda boring. So it's not likely that I will finish that book.

Sometimes I get the impression, too, that authors are more friendly to bloggers. Which makes sense because they can be a big help to get your book out there. But it's not fair to the rest of us who are out there buying the books, and not getting the ARC's from the publisher or the author directly.

So, I don't know. Maybe it's just me? I mean, it's *just* Twitter. But sometimes, it seems like high school all over again.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

Parenting is Hard

So last night, I was trying to go to sleep and all I could think about was all the things I'd done wrong yesterday. Most of those things revolved around my kids. I kept thinking "They are three and almost five (Sunday!). Have I already ruined them for life?"

This is a common thought in my head. What constitutes a "bad" parent? I've read articles on being an "okay" parent and how that is, really, okay. But there's still a gray area, isn't there?

I should point out that I don't think I'm a bad parent. Sometimes, though, I feel like not a very good one. I lose my temper, like any normal person. I raise my voice. Every once in a while, I just have to leave the room.

But my kids are well fed and taken care of. We read books at night. They have toys to play with and bikes to ride. They have clothes and shoes and coats for winter. I don't think it makes me a better parent because my kids have things. But does it help?

This morning I felt better, like I had done something right somewhere along the line. The almost five year old got up all on his own (after sleeping in his bed all night, which has been a struggle) and got dressed. He was also quick to start picking up toys he'd left out the night before. When I told my mom that, she figured it was because he knows his birthday is this weekend and he's trying to score some extra points. I like to think he was doing it because I really am an okay parent and I have taught him a thing or two along the way.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Better Days

I really do feel bad when I write such a whiney and complainy blog post. I mean, really, who wants to read that? But I need to vent somewhere. My husband doesn't want to hear it. My best friend isn't as accesible by email as she used to be. So that leaves the blog. And since I don't have any followers, I guess I shouldn't be so worried about it.

Today I think I feel better because I've got an insane amount of sugar coarsing through my veins. Is that right, coarsing? Or coursing? Whatever. I'm really kind of jumpy and jittery and don't sneak up on me because I might wet myself. Probably not a good thing, but whatever gets me through the rest of the day.

Really, I should be focused on the weekend. I need to get a list prepared for the 5 year old's birthday party. Granted, I took the easy way out and planned it as a sleepover for his cousin's; but he's happy with that. We're going to paint pumpkins. And that's all I've got. The weather will be nice enough that they can play outside. I don't think it should require much more than that, should it? They are 2, 3 and 4 year olds. Not a hard age to keep entertained. Until they get tired. At which point, all hell breaks loose. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

Tuesday, September 28, 2010


So I started to write this whole whiney post about how much everything sucks...but why bother? What good will it do to complain?

I'm just in a bad mood. I don't really have any reason to be, though. Can't I just be in a bad mood? Do I need a reason?

How can I bring myself out of it? I could read a book. But all that makes me think about is how it's not *my* book. So then I think about writing and I get discouraged because I don't think I'm ever going to finish anything and start down the road to getting published. Then I try to think about why I'm still trying to hold myself back? Just put it all out there and be done with it.

Then I get frustrated at home. Because I don't have time to read, or write...or go to the bathroom, for that matter. I look around and see a mess everywhere. Supper to be made, dishes to do, laundry piling to be entertained and loved. Why do I feel like I'm failing at everything all at once? I didn't used to think I was a bad mom (and I'm really not compared to a lot of people), but I've felt like one lately. I don't do fun things with my kids anymore. I yell at them to eat their supper and pick up their toys.

So do I just relax and let it all slide? Do I focus on one thing and forget the rest? How can I get my life in a balance I can live with? I think it used to be. I'm trying to pinpoint when things started to get out of hand and I'd like to attempt to fix it.

Monday, September 20, 2010

Monday Sucks

I feel bad for Monday. It has such a bad reputation. Is it all in my mind that this day really sucks? Do I set myself up for suckage when I wake up thinking "Hey, it's Monday. It's not going to be a good day." Probably. But whatever.

Let me just wallow in it for a moment, if you will. I believe my last post was on the unfairness of birthday policies at work (ie how they are unfair to me). Because of that, I skipped out on a surprise birthday party for that co-worker on Saturday night. I was all set to go, but then my kid got sick. Really. Or at least, Grandma thought she was sick but she really wasn't.

Anyway, so today, all I'm hearing is talk of how great the party was and how much fun everybody had. That's all well and good, but it's further proof that some people in this office are just better friends.

So now it's got me thinking that I'm not as good of friends with these people as I thought I was. Which is funny because my mom was telling me that my aunt said the other day that she didn't have any friends. And my mom feels the same way. We all have each other, but we're family. So does count? Or were we born with some kind of inability to make really, really good friends? Because, I'll be honest, I have one person in the whole wide world who I consider my friend. She's my BFF. I found her in middle school and we've been together ever since. Sadly, she lives in another state. So I can call her up, but it's not the same as going out for lunch once a week.

I guess I'm a little jealous for having to listen to all the friendships here that I am not a part of, no matter what I might think. No more trying to fit in for me. I was born a loner and I will always be a loner.

Tuesday, September 14, 2010


I'm not a huge shoe person. I don't count flip flops as shoes, which is a good thing because I have about every color that Old Navy makes. I have black shoes and brown shoes for work, summer and winter versions. I have fun shoes, like my Converse. And I so totally want this pair, in sky...

But I'll restrain myself. Because I might rather buy more books instead.

Monday, September 13, 2010


Today we celebrated a co-worker turning 40. I've been in a huff all morning because I turned 30 last year and I'm pretty sure I got diddily. I shouldn't be so petty about it. Especially since I can't remember for sure and I have no journal entry anywhere to back me up. I probably brought in treats like we're supposed to do for our birthdays and that was it. Apparently the rules are different for "milestone" birthdays because we were supposed to bring treats in today. I didn't because a) I was busy all weekend and b) I must've misunderstood the message.

So I just need to get over it, really. But it leaves me a little...irritated. I mean, I thought we were all pretty close here. I know we don't all get equal treatment on other things (which is wrong)...I guess it applies to birthdays too.

Whatever. I'm done.

I went to Hobby Lobby during lunch. I hadn't been there in a while. I wasn't really looking for anything in partiuclar, but I like to wander around and get crafty ideas. I found an aisle of pretty office accessories, like file folders and clipboards and mouse pad notepads. Some of the stuff I looked at, I thought "I can make that!" But sometimes it's so much easier to buy it.

But I want to make more bookmarks. Lots of lots of bookmarks. Will I get more blog followers if I offer free bookmarks?

The other thing I'm making...keychains. I've been saving bottle caps (Mike's Hard Lemondade, beer, Orange Crush, etc) and waiting for a sign of what to do with them. And, lo and behold, my mom needed a keychain. My latest craft was born. Go me.

One last paragraph, I swear. The writing thing has perked up a little. No major progress, but pages are being written. So that's something. Hopefully I can keep it up.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Baby Bro's Wedding

My little brother got married over the weekend. I'm still trying to wrap my head around this because, to me, he's still like 16 or something. Maybe because most of the time, he still acts like he's 16. But that's not the point.

I spent a better part of the reception drunk out of my mind. I do that maybe once a year, if that. So you can imagine how I felt the next day. It wasn't pretty. But it's almost worth it. I'm not going to say everybody should go out and get drunk, but here is why I like to...I'm normally shy and reserved and not a big party animal. Give me a little alchol, and I'm the life of the party. In a good way. I'm not the girl dancing topless on the table. I'm talking to everybody and dancing and having a good ol' time. I'm not worried about what I'm going to say or how I look, which is usually the case. Because I'm too uptight and self-conscious.

Here's what I did at the reception...and keep in mind, this all happened after I sent the kids home with my in-laws...I talked to several people I hadn't spoken to since high school. Mostly because I hadn't seen them since high school. Found out later that one guy told my brother more than once that he'd always thought I was cute, but I was too quiet. So I could've had another date in high school :-)

Then I talked to an ex I hadn't spoken to since we broke up. I was obviously drunk and I think he laughed at me the whole time. But it was cool. I probably wouldn't have talked to him otherwise because it would've been awkward. The drunk part takes away all the awkward because it's just comedy.

Um...I chugged a couple beers with one of the bride's friends. She went with us on the bachlorette party trip and she wasn't my most favorite person. But we were "friends" for a while because she asked me to chug a beer with her and I did it. I think that's what did me in! Damn her.

I danced a little, not as much as I normally would have, though. There was a lot of ghetto booty shaking that I could not have kept up with out there. I was too busy talking outside. Probably loudly. But it was okay.

Like I said, I'm not encouraging anyone to run out and drink a six pack just to see what it feels like. It's a fleeting sensation anyway. But it's fun while it lasts.

Thursday, August 12, 2010


It's 95 degrees outside. Not sure about the heat index, but it feels pretty nasty. Still no a/c at my house. One more quote tomorrow and then the farmer will be forced into making a decision. No way around it.

Anyway, the trip went well. The traveling wasn't as bad as I was expecting, which was good. But it never is. And it was fairly easy to drive around Tampa also. That helped. The GPS made it easier, but the map was pretty useful too. The farmer got a little irritable toward the end, but that was to be expected. He doesn't do well after any amount of time away from home. His family never really took vacations when he was growing up. Not that mine did. But we took road trips occasionally. Mostly to tractor pulls.

Okay, well this entry isn't as long as I planned and it's basically about nothing because I have to get back to work!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Ready for the weekend

I'm not a travler. At all. The last time I was on a plane was in 2004. It's not that I don't want to, but we aren't a vacationing family (that translates to "my husband is a tight wad"). So we don't even take day trips. But the packing is the worst. I'm not a good packer. Because I overpack. Always. I'm going to Florida for work next week. I'll probably pack a sweater because that's what I do. I'll pack three books when I know I won't have that much time to read (I'll only be gone a couple days). I'll pack my journal and at least two other notebooks, just because. I will pack the camera and every spare battery I have, just in case, along with all the power cords. I bought a GPS unit specifically for this trip. To practice, I used it to get to work. And yesterday I used it when I picked up my car from the repair shop. What's the point of a GPS for someone who doesn't travel?!

So I keep telling myself, you don't have to pack everything! You don't want to pack everything because you want to have room to bring the kids back souveniors! You don't want to lug that heavy suitcase around! Anything you forget, you can most likely buy when you get there! So on and so forth.

Also, I get generally uptight when traveling. Every six months, I have to take my son to St. Louis for a check-up. That's a two and a half hour drive and it makes me tense. We have to fly out of St. Louis. So there's the drive tension, and the fly tension on top of that. Plus, I'll have to listen to the husband complaining about how much everything costs. Even though work is paying for mine. Ha!

Thursday, August 5, 2010


It looks like a file cabinet threw up on my desk. Hate days like this. But that's okay. Because I like paper. I don't mind my computer, but paper is better. When it comes to writing, that is. Almost every story I've written has been handwritten. Because I like doing it the old fashioned way. However, I think if I had a laptop, I might be more inclined to use it because it's portable. But for now, a real notebook is the most portable thing around.

I think it helps that I have an insane paper collection. Is there a word for somebody that compulsively buys school supplies? Because that would be me. My kids have more crayons than they will ever need. I have more notebooks than I will ever use. Part of that stems from my crafting phase. I like to "redesign" notebooks. I have several comp notebooks that have been recovered with scrapbook paper. At one point, I was maybe going to sell them on Etsy. But I don't have any more time for that than I do for writing a novel.

Monday, August 2, 2010

Ebook Debate

I have a really bad headache right now, but I wanted to get this entry in. Not sure why as I have no followers. Guess this is yet another blog for me.

There's a lot of talk these days about ebooks versus real books. Personally, I still like real books. I have an iPhone, and I have several ereader apps on it. I don't favor one over the other, but it's very hard for me to read on that tiny screen. However, I can't justify spending another couple hundred bucks on a Kindle or Nook or whatever. I would rather spend that money on books! Doesn't that make sense? Because you have to buy the device and then buy the ebooks that seem to cost the same as the regular book. If they were cheaper, then I might consider it. But, for now, I prefer to have the actual printed book in my hands.

The other thing is that I have the habit of downloading the ebook and forgetting it's there. This could be said about my ever-expanding library of real books too. I've been trying to use my Good Reads lists to keep track of what I have. It's hard, though. I'm not the most organized person in the world, either.

So, give me an actual printed copy of a book any day.

Saturday, July 31, 2010


I'm going to take a chance and post something that I wrote. It's the beginning to a story I just started. A little history first. Way back in 1999, I started a story that I'm still slaving over. It's the thing that I can't let go of. But I don't think it's publish worthy anymore. So my brilliant mind decided to do a rewrite, of sorts. The basic plot is the same. The setting is reversed. The characters are younger, and will probably all have different names. But here's the beginning. I don't have any followers yet, so there's a pretty big chance no one will even read this. In which case I'll be no worse off than I am now.

PS This was all done on an iPhone, so please excuse any typos or other weirdness.
One of the hardest things I ever had to do was leave Texas. It wasn't like I had much choice. Three months shy of eighteen and sans a high school diploma left me with few options. So I packed up what was left of my life and drove to Illinois to live with my aunt and uncle, and a cousin who I'd seen only twice in my life. The first time had been when we were about eight. The last was after my parents' funeral.

Everybody expects to outlive their parents. But you also expect them to watch you graduate high school and college, get married and have kids before it happens. I hadn't done any of thosethongs yet. And my parents were already gone. It really was t fair. Maybe I was more anxious to leave home than I thought. I could escape all the symp
athetic stares and 'oh poor you' speeches. I knew they were gone. I didn't need the constant reminders.

Not to mention that any support system I thought I had was gone. My friends had suddenly decided they didn't know how to act around me anymore, so they all stopped coming around.

Maybe leaving wasn't so hard after all.

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


I don't mind covering phones at lunch because usually it means everybody is gone and I don't really have to work if I don't want to. It's like having an extra lunch. And I'm actually working in between typing sentences, so it's all good. But I just got a papercut reaching for something off the printer, so that's not cool.

My bridesmaid dress is in (my brother is getting married next month). I'm excited to see it (in about an hour), but I'm a little nervous. The colors scare me a little. Or what I think the colors will be. So maybe once I see them, it won't be so bad. Here's hoping anyway.

I'm really not looking forward to going outside anyway. It's 91 degrees. With a heat index of 105. So that's fun. Which reminds me...I should be checking out heating and cooling places in the area to see about getting quotes for a new system in my house. I can't handle broken a/c.

Monday, July 26, 2010


So I've been thinking about what I want to make this blog about. I decided I can't be a book blogger because it takes me too long to finish a book and I write crap reviews. Which led me to think maybe I should blog about my wife and mother duties. But that's not very exciting. I tried to blog about my crafting hobby. That didn't last long...but neither did the hobby.

I guess you'll get a little of everything. I have a tendency to ramble on about random things. For instance, I just noticed that myself and two co-workers are all wearing different shades of green shirts today. Not something that anyone really cares about (myself included), but it gives me something to write about.

Anyway, I'll begin by introducing myself. My name is Beth. I'm...getting older. I'm married with two kids, R & S, boy and girl, ages almost 5 and almost 3. My husband is a farmer (obviously) and I work as a credit analyst for a company that manufactures broadcast equipment. I've always been a reader and a closet writer. I very seldom share what I write, but I decided this year I want to get published. Which will probably never happen because I'm holding myself back. I suddenly decided the only finished piece I had wasn't good enough to send to anyone. I've only been working on it since I was in college, but whatever. There are plenty of other things I've written that are better. Now I have to find the time to finish, revise...

Yeah. I'm a pessimist too, by the way. And an insane lover of chocolate. And an iPhone junky. Very amateur photographer. Lover of sunrises and sunsets. Habitual buyer of books (mostly YA) I don't have enough time to read, and flip flops I'll never wear.

I've never broken a bone. I got married at a little chapel in Vegas. I've always lived on a farm. I use that a lot in my writing. I like music. I'm eagerly awaiting September 28th and the new release from Jimmy Eat World, who have had more hits than just "The Middle."

And that's all I've got for now. Because I'm supposed to be working...

Friday, July 23, 2010

Blogging is Hard

I've tried it a few times, but I just can't get the hang of it. Maybe I should just give up? But what's the fun in that. I like to have my random musings out there for the world to see. Sort of :-)

Thursday, July 8, 2010

The last thing I needed to do was set up another blog...and yet, here I am!