Monday, March 17, 2014

3 weeks Later

Okay, so it's been almost three weeks that I have been unemployed. It's been...different. I don't know how to explain it. Maybe it still hasn't sunk in yet. You'd think by now, I would have it all figured out, but I don't.

I have these grand plans and ideas. I'm not sure how to follow thru with everything, though. I need to structure my days more and discipline myself in such a way that I accomplish more in a day. Easier said than done, right?

Late last year, I got on the notion of becoming one of those super organized people. Now, my life and the events in it aren't too complicated to keep track of. But I wanted better visibility of it, I guess. I loved the idea of the home management binder. I started with the budgeting part because, at the time, I was considering quitting the job. Also, a lot of the binders I looked at were geared toward SAHMs, with daily cleaning schdules and daily tasks and whatnot. While it applies more to me now, I still can't get fully on board with it. But I do better when someone says "Today, this is what you have to do." As opposed to writing a to do list and glancing at it every time I walk thru the kitchen. Probably on my way to NOT doing the things on the list.

Now I've got it in my head that I want to work on my creative side. I want to focus on things that will allow me to express myself. Writing, obviously. But other things too. I was in town today for a dentist appointment, so I stopped at Hobby Lobby. I picked up a small sketchbook and I took a long look at calligraphy pens. I can't draw to save my life and I haven't done any calligraphy in years. But why not pick it back up? Why not learn how to draw? 

Last night, I pulled out an empty notebook and started a birding journal. I got out Grandma's big book of birds and marked the pages of the birds I've been watching all winter. I wrote down their names and included the birds I've seen in the past and ideas for what to do to attract more birds.

Obviously, I have a wide range of hobbies and things that interest me. How do I turn all this into a feasible career? Also, how in the hell do I plan to accomplish all this with a 9 month old in tow? And in a couple months, the other 2 will be out of school and home all the time. How in the world do I deal with that? I've never thought of myself as the SAHM type. My kids drive me nuts sometimes. I need to get out of the house every now and then. How do I make that all work?
 
And what in the world was I thinking when I started researching homeschooling? Because if I can't handle being at home on weekends with the kids, how in the world can I teach them? Is it wrong that one of my strongest motivators for even considering it was because my kids get on the bus at 6:30 in the morning? I don't know how they learn anything at all, honestly. I'm so tired by the middle of the morning, I'm ready for a nap. How do they function? So could we do it at home? Maybe this summer could be a trial run. We could do field trips to the park and nature walks. They could get in on the bird watching! 

So, I have all the plans. Now how do I go about putting it all into motion?