Wednesday, August 6, 2014

Where I Am

PSA - I apologize in advance for this downer of a post...

The summer will be over soon. It's really hard to believe. But it doesn't last forever, right? It wouldn't be as magical if it did. Not that my summer was magical or anything. I think it's been fun, though, and that's what matters. As long as my kids feel the same.

So here's what I've been up to...not a lot, really. Keeping the kids occupied and not fighting. I've been writing more than I have in a long time. Not every day but almost. I tried to do Camp NaNoWriMo, but I didn't win. I stand by my practice of handwriting a first draft, but it slows me down. So far this story isn't the greatest thing I've ever written, but it's not the worst either.

In the last week or so, I've decided to reopen and revamp my Etsy store. My mom and dad tore down their old barn and I saved a few things. Unfortunately most of those things are too big to ship (reasonably) and my dream right now is to take part in one of those big vintage sales.

The problem with all this is that these dreams are my own. And they are just dreams. Dreams don't pay the bills. I'm married to a non-dreamer, someone firmly rooted in reality. So it's hard. Especially with all the motivational "don't give up on your dreams!" BS that is everywhere.

So I'm taking my job search a little more seriously now. I applied for something in my field. That's a funny joke when you're an Ag major. I haven't heard anything yet, which is a little disheartening. It's also a bit of a relief because I'm TERRIFIED of having to go on a job interview. I will not wear the right clothes. And I will say all the wrong things. Nobody seems to understand that, even though I'm trying, it won't be good enough. Because even my best never seems good enough.


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